cygnus created

dear nameless people that call my name I am relieved of all responsibility to do what you dear people ask of me, relieved of pleasing you. you are not my goal, my dreams for the day, the month, the year. You are not my business , you are not my joy, my joy-giver, my joy-path, my joy-sustainer, my joy-taker. Joy- Joy- Joy I am a joy-producer. Like the sunshine that redistributes its warmth from the sun As it is absorbed and reflected into other things, it must be replenished on a constant basis. The closer to the source the stronger its life. The sooner it is absorbed the more fully it is felt. It is a real presence of light and heat not just a perceived idea or thought, but a real tangible thing. I am a redistrubutor of God's joy just like the sun's rays redistrubute the warmth and life of the sun. I think the word love sounds nice, but really it is His joy that I feel course through me to others. He has spent many months cleansing me of my own power and strength so He c...

Gently sleeping the slumber of the sick. Peaceful creases smooth the worries of a life hard won. Seen so many ugle words, fill the air around her and yet she chose to rest in the beautiful. Light dances from her closed eyes, she searches memories of days of joy. Giggling girls hid among the bedcovers recanting their stolen adventure. Slipping out the window at night to meet a friend or two, innocent in their intention. Chasing life that was calling with a doe's breath, hinting of mystery and fullness. Rich melodic tunes drifting above her bed showing me all the wonders of playing life by ear which she was so fond of doing. Grabbing a snatch of a recognized ballad she loops her fingers around an imagined vessel that breathes life into the stillness of family and friends gathering to join the chorus of crickets. How she smiles. He is there beside her, her beau for the week. Ready to escort thru gentlemanly gestures the essence of her ladyship. Grandma how I miss you

Let me float on Your joy Let me be filled with Your radience Let me see light in Your beauty Let me admire Your fingerprints Let me glide through Your sunshine Let me glow with Your passion Let me shine with Your gentleness Let me hide in Your faithfulness Let me cuddle in Your love Let me dress in Your obedience Let me be covered in Your justice Let me come to Your wisdom Let me be through Your Son

They Can't Take it All "Lydia!" I called, "You can’t!" What was I to do? She was in as much anguish as I was. There was nothing we could do to stop the intrusion on our hope this time. I needed to go to her but my legs were listening to the vines of terror. They wouldn’t- couldn’t hear me. The roots of altered reality had already penetrated my brain’s response. We were both watching in horror as the soldiers entered the house and we heard the muffled cries. Cries I would never be able to erase from the tucked corners of my existence. The portals that registered to our brains could only take in the impulses sent to us thru the hazy sunlight. Our eyes are only simply able to take in chemical signals. They never really comprehend what is the necessary steps of all that is to come. It is the brain’s position to embrace, anticipate and calculate. The eyes are merely messengers of this catastrophic injustice. Oblivious, neutral as the dry, carpet of my ch...

Why do I sing? For the same reason The birds sing Its an extension Of the breath of life That fills them each morning When they see the sun rise Why do I smile? For the same reason The cats purr Its as natural as yawning when tired He purrs when a contented sigh Is soothing his bones Why do I dance? For the same reason The dogs chase Its as the body Is an outpouring of thought Of delighted joy Bubbling from their paws Why do I pray? For the same reason The morning dawns Its an overwhelming need To thank the creator Who condensed all of this delicate beauty In one span of a moment I am one of God's creations Ahhh,,,But only one Each reflects His intelligence Creativity Compassion And joy In today's moment poem by Laura yoder written in the dawn of this morning 

The Cello   Breathe Weave Sleeve Strum Hum Thrum Pluck Plick Flick Builds a ‘lectrical song Flowing slowing be-lowing Stroking the chin Of an ancient muse Longing   be-longing String         ing Alive and full of cues Dancing, prancing release Erupting      a     bubble Of      movement to    tease In explain   able    joyfully    freeeee Danc     ing            above Elec       tri         cit      y Tingle    single    tickle A           beat Drawing           sawing         falling To     ...

I am in a creative writing class and I thought I would share some of my homework.  A poem with 8 stanzas, 3 lines per stanza, freewriting   Marriage unites the bold to a tower wearing white and black to fit together leaping to their destiny in unusual stripes   the years seem to scold the beginning glowing in dawn's brilliant symphony forcing time to play with the old man   I rust through the sediment of thought using the natural hues of love pulling them along to complete the circle   the love of mind melts into subconscious dressed in peaceful intent comparing faded youth to eternity   pencil seems to know where she goes to wear the fabric of hormones fighting perceived reality in a duel to the death   looking thru the window of home shining faces now sublime calling out to wait for me   he sees the breath draw thru t...

'That is what I am planting in my garden this year. I always plant peppers and tomatoes," This was the response I received from Grandma Linda. We were together, in the dirt "tamping down" as she would call it. I was 14 that summer. Grandma was coming and "babysitting" while my mom and dad took care of our store. Even though most of us were big enough, my little sister was only 7 so it was okay. Grandma always had something to do. Today she was out in the garden planting. The tall stately tomatoes had already outgrown their Styrofoam cups and had to be staked with twine  and posts. The peppers were off limits to me. She let me dig the hole; she let me tamp it back; but she handled the delicate stems and roots. She showed me how too much pressure will leave a bruise as you are taking them out of their cups. She gently put them in the hole, covered it and let me "tamp down" the earth,good smelling and warm to stabilize those delicate stems. Whi...

Journaling today about things I am most thankful for. I am grateful to have lived the life I have. God has given me more joys than sorrows but from each sorrow I have grown in my understanding of others. I am grateful that God has given me joy that bubbles up and fills the little places that want air. Like a crack in a sidewalk of concrete that can be filled first with the dirt, then a seed and finally a tree. My concreted heart has been filled first with God's love and purpose that is the soul in which life can grow.Then He allows a small seed that on its own cannot develop but in soil can take a root and be fed. He has planted the seed of joy and peace in my concreted and unforgiving heart. From the seed of joy spreads fine roots so small they can penetrate between rocks and gravel of concrete. They enlarge with each bit of moisture until they can push apart the concrete and fill it with the essence and strength of joy. This joy is what my heart needs but resists so stubbornly. ...

New years resolutions are a seeming American tradition. But I wonder how much of this is just a reason to not be doing what it is that we are really needing. At church I happened to misjudge the class I thought I was checking out. I thought I was going to hear about a missionary excursion. I happened into a discipleship leaders encouragement meeting. I was glad I did. One of the elders challenged us. Maybe the problem is we are over-knowledged about bible truths but under-experienced in Its truths. I have been coming to this conclusion myself.   How much am I listening to what God's saying to me and how much am I actually doing? I finally listened to what my best friend has been saying for years now. Warning, Questioning? me about my spending. I justify it by saying it is "home school"  stuff for the kids. Excuses. Because honestly, I never put these into service. They get ohhed and ahhed over and stacked with the next greatest thing....

"Summer Nights" That phrase evokes a different stirring in everyone who hears it. For me is meant staying outside til 9:30 or 10:00 each night. What began as a shared memory of my Dad's childhood continued as a nightly summer ritual.   The counting has begun and we must all flee to the boundaries agreed upon - 1 block radius and no crossing the street. A always started in the alley beyond the enemy lines and picked my favorite bush. Breathing in the pungent smell of pine and grit, I crouched beneath the branches. Hearing my own heart beating way too fast and feeling my breath coming short and quick. I check my left, then my right, only to see another comrade wave me over. "All clear" he whispers. We both crouched slowly into position, our shoes crunching way too loudly in the alleyway gravel.Waiting, we listened intently. Suddenly the noise was there above, in the air, for all of us to hear. The surprised screech, laughter and winded explanations o...

The title is shame. When I was asked what shame feels like, I wrote this. I didn't finish it at the time because I was so overwhelmed by the feelings it brought back as I was writing. My finishing happened a few months ago and only with a climb from the depths am I willing to share it now. Everyone experiences different things in life, but most all have had an experience with shame. I wanted to share this so if you are stuck in it, you can be pulled from the depth as I was and am now able to embrace as a part of me, but only in where it brought me, finally up and in the light. "Where, except in uncreated light, can the darkness be drowned?" C.S. Lewis Shame Its a master you cannot run or hide from He knows where you are weak and trembling inside He whispers like an icy chill before a Nor'easter His fingernails grip at every piece of your spine  and shake you til your jelly inside your gut, in your ears and throat Shame you cannot share He is a dark lo...

What does that mean exactly? It used to mean something different to me than it does now. I used to accept what normal was and then the opposite was the "unexpected". I am not quite so sure these days. You see, God has been taking me thru the back door lately and giving me a backstage tour on what He wants for me. I am floored that He desires to do something good. Why would I feel that way? I have been living in existence for so long that to do more than day-to-day is my new "normal". I am listening Lord... that used to be followed by a long silence and then a "whenever you are ready Lord?" These past few months God has been showing me a different approach. I am starting to realize that He is giving shorter directions and expecting me to act on them....now....now" He is starting to let me see my actions contribute to His plan, not some general make the world a better place, and it will all get better in the end, smile and be happy, blah blah b...