Journaling today about things I am most thankful for.
I am grateful to have lived the life I have. God has given me more joys than sorrows but from each sorrow I have grown in my understanding of others. I am grateful that God has given me joy that bubbles up and fills the little places that want air. Like a crack in a sidewalk of concrete that can be filled first with the dirt, then a seed and finally a tree. My concreted heart has been filled first with God's love and purpose that is the soul in which life can grow.Then He allows a small seed that on its own cannot develop but in soil can take a root and be fed. He has planted the seed of joy and peace in my concreted and unforgiving heart. From the seed of joy spreads fine roots so small they can penetrate between rocks and gravel of concrete. They enlarge with each bit of moisture until they can push apart the concrete and fill it with the essence and strength of joy. This joy is what my heart needs but resists so stubbornly. Amazing how God doesn't care whether I resist His seed of joy. He continues to allow it to grow so slowly but persistently until it is buried deep inside. I however need to acknowledge it. I need to say yes to its power and that it is there, complete. It is alive and well within me. It is all I need, this joy, gives way to peace. It breaks apart the poisonous concrete that wants to trap and hold me.
Thank you Lord for being stronger than I. You pervade my consciousness, my rebellion, my stubborn pride, and slowly crack the unseemingly, impenetrability of my hardened heart.You fill me with Joy unspeakable. I give you permission Lord, to use this joy and peace to do amazing things first in my life and then the lives of those around me. I cannot be a healing balm until You heal me of my stubborn pride and foolishness. Thank you dear Jesus,
You Child, LJ
